Consumers flee in terror from killer bees

Excuse me, I thought retail banks weren't lending any more?

But my wife recently received a letter from Taina Uusitalo, Head of Core Credit Cards at Lloyds TSB, which enclosed four lovely credit card cheques.

The British Bankers' Association's Reporting Officer's Reference Guide tells us that a credit card cheque is “a cheque drawn against a credit card account that gives the cardholder another way of accessing funds up to their credit limit. This is usually to make transactions where credit cards are not accepted. Interest is normally charged from the transaction date. Important features include the following:

• credit card cheques may not provide the same level of protection as when you buy items with a normal credit card
• there is usually a transaction fee for each cheque you use
• the interest-free period of the credit card may not apply to the credit card cheque.”

Hang on a minute, aren't these the same credit card cheques the UK Government launched an investigation into in 2006? The Government was spurred into action because 326 million cheques were issued that year, of which 313 million were sent without being requested. It was calculated that, if consumers had actually used these 'cheques', it would have cost them £298 million more in interest and charges than if they had made standard credit card purchases.

With haunting music by Elena Kats-Chernin and original and touching contemporary 3D animations by animator/ director Marc Craste, LloydsTSB's award-winning TV advert tells us “no wonder so many people choose to bank with LloydsTSB. We’ve been voted Britain’s Most Trusted Bank for seven years running”

But who gives out these Most Trusted Brand Awards? Reader’s Digest. The 2008 study was conducted online in October 2007. Respondents were asked to name their ‘most trusted brand' across 37 categories and responses were unprompted. Respondents were Reader's Digest subscribers - so the respondents were dental receptionists and GP practice managers.

How are the other Most Trusted Brands shaping up? Virgin Media won the 2008 award for the most trusted ISP. And promptly had an ad campaign banned by the Advertising Standards Authority for misleading customers.

The Government in 2006 recommended that customer communications about credit card cheques should include a compulsory summary box aimed at explaining associated fees and charges.

May I propose additional wording to be provided in bold font at the head of promotional letters for credit card cheques?

"THIS PRODUCT IS UNLIKELY TO OFFER YOU BEST VALUE IF YOU HAVE ACCESS TO ALTERNATIVE SOURCES OF CREDIT OR OTHER MEANS OF MAKING PAYMENTS. IF YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY MANAGING YOUR EXPENDITURE, YOU SHOULD SEEK DEBT COUNSELLING ADVICE, FOR EXAMPLE FROM YOUR LOCAL CITIZENS ADVICE BUREAU, BEFORE USING THIS PRODUCT."

In the meantime, how can you safely dispose of your credit card cheques? I recommend wearing gloves while handling them carefully with a pair of fire tongs. They are insufficiently absorbent for other uses, but their glossy finish means they provide a useful lining for the cat-litter tray.